Jan 23 2015

Bigg City: future slums or if stopped, homeless free paradise, it is up to the people to decide.

"What a monster!"  Image courtesy of Serge Bertasius Photography at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

“What a monster!”
Image courtesy of Serge Bertasius Photography at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

By Tony Ellis


Bigg City- Last night I was watching “America: Love it or Get the Hell out!” (which is the only thing the TV is allowed to show in my house) on my 72’ in. 1080p flat screen when Will O’Reely began his talk about the homeless problem in our city. See I agreed with each and every little thing he said, how it was some absurd left-wing trick to get us God fearing, wholesome, and gun toting Americans to be fearful of the outside. See I was raised like many of our politicians, that if I don’t see it then it don’t exist.

Well you see I tried that. I blind folded myself all the way down to the front door, damn bum was sleeping in front of it and I accidentally tripped over him. I then proceeded to turn around and scream at the mongrel for scuffing my shoe. I’ve worked too hard to have fallen to such a low as to be besmirched by some “I’m-so-poor-I-can’t-get-the-proper-exfullients-to-help-with-my-dried-up-face”. It’s not my problem that they can’t afford my pent house up on McGillicutty road.

I am not alone on how I feel about this. Uproar of people who are fed up with these freeloaders has begun.

This afternoon I ventured out to the local, “We’re All Winners” bar/mini-van rest area and local soccer mom hang-out where each mom has one thing on their minds… how to get their children in more school activities than they offer and how to increase their passive aggressive tactics. When the discussion was brought up on the current state of the homeless problem, Soccer mom #5798 had this to say. “How can my little Timmy be left in this kind of danger? Hmm? We are in trouble here in Bigg City, ya’ got that? BIG trouble and I am not liking it, not one bit, and diddya’ know that one of them migrants* vandalized my car? Mmhm. That’s right, my husband, Jack Amity, general manager of the mill, as church going as a saint, and chapter president of the local National Socialist group, had to take the shotgun away from me. Said I had that same crazy look in my eye just like when I grabbed the kid from the other team who knocked over my kid during the soccer game. I yelled at him telling him to keep his hands and that stupid red arm band away from my gun”.

When asked about the amount of damage the vagrant had caused, she had said they had “tarnished my precious and important sticker that said “My Child is an Honor Student””.

According to #5798 things are getting worse and worse out there and she is arming herself with the proper equipment such as shin guards and empire masks so she may keep her family safe from the freeloading insurgents.

Plans are in action to get the mayor and his associates to acknowledge the problem and sweep it under the carpet OR under a carpet bomb.

Is Bigg City the new future slum of the world or will it be stopped and become a homeless free paradise? It is up to the people to take a stand!

*We here at Bigg City News Tribune state the news how it was said, that said it is believed she meant “vagrants”.